


Hanukkah Launch

by esteefee



Series: Misfits [2]
Category: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crossover, Gen, Jewish Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 22:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will John's head cold ruin Hanukkah??<br/>(Crossover with Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, where Rodney McKay is a <s>toy elf</s> <s>dentist</s> theoretical astrophysicist. John Sheppard is <s>one of Santa's reindeer</s> a blacklisted, red-nosed renegade, Ronon Cornelius Dex is a <s>prospector</s> Bumble Killer and Teyla Emmagan is a <s>Smiling Sally Doll</s> Perimeter Sentry at the Island of Misfit Toys. First story in the series is <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/219772">Misfits</a>. Read that one first or you will be hopelessly confused.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanukkah Launch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass/gifts).



> ...Chag Sameach!

"This is a disaster!" Rodney said, waving his hands, and then had to grab his elf hat when he felt it slipping from his head in his excitement. "An utter catastrophe!"

John lifted his head and miserably honked, "I'b sorry, Robney." His nose barely let out a blip, sputtering once before fading out again. "It's just a stupid code."

"Just a cold! Just a cold! You realize Hanukkah's already started? And we have millions of naughty Jewish kids waiting for their presents?" Rodney was incensed. And to think all this was John's idea to begin with. Rodney would have been perfectly content servicing half the world's population and spending the rest of his time in happy contemplation of physics, glorious physics, but no, John and Teyla and Ronon had to do something meaningful for all the naughty little kids of the world.

John set his jaw and struggled to his feet, only to collapse in a miserable heap again moments later. "This sucks."

Rodney shook his head at the infuriating, red-nosed reindeer, looking all pathetic and wretched and woebegone. "Fine. Look, I'll..."

John raised his head, eyes hopeful.

Rodney sighed. "I'll think of something."

:::

Rigging the power source was easy—Rodney had done something similar once before to somewhat mixed reviews. But this time he had the foresight to engage Todd's engineering skills—at the cost of a good portion of the Island's rabbit population, yes, but at least Ronon got to employ his underused tracking skills once again.

John took one look at the naquadah rocket booster attached to the sleigh and started backing away. "Oh, great. A concussion on top of a head cold. Perfect."

"No, no, John, this time there are controls! And you'll be riding on top! It will work, you'll see," Rodney said, and pointed toward the steering plate Todd had rigged. "You'll stand on top, and the controls will respond to your shifts in balance and route them down to the attitude jets."

John smiled slightly. "Hmm." Then he sneezed.

"Oh, go back to bed. We still have a lot to do before tonight. You'd better be fit to fly."

:::

It was Teyla's idea to get the Island's chefs involved. "I have taste-tested these 'gelt' you planned to include with the gifts, and I would not call them chocolate, Rodney," she said severely. 

"So what exactly are we supposed to do about it?"

"We must make our own," she said, nodding decisively. "We must use the single-origin chocolate."

"But-but...that's my private stash."

Teyla's eyes bored into him deeply, speaking of tiny Jewish children, naughty beyond measure, excitedly opening their bags of gelt only to bite into sadly disappointing, waxy faux-chocolate.

Rodney sighed and nodded. "Break out the melting pots and molds."

"It will be done."

:::

"You carved all these yourself?" Rodney stared in disbelief at the gigantic mound of wooden dreidels. 

Ronon smiled modestly and ran a soft-looking cloth over his gleaming knife. "Only question is: who's gonna paint 'em?"

"Oh, they're way too pretty for that." Rodney picked one up and looked at the fine grain of the wood, fingered the meticulous carving work on the Gimel. "C'mon, let's find someone to load these up."

:::

"All I can say," Rodney said as he helped John shuffle out to the loaded sleigh, "is thank goodness we generated the List of Naughties before your nose got stuffed up."

John honked in agreement.

"I mean, did that even occur to you before you went gallivanting out into the snow for your reindeer games?" Rodney didn't like the sound of John's breathing. "You're not a teen buck anymore, you know."

"It was the first really good snowfall!" John said, huffing and wheezing. "Have you noticed how it doesn't snow as good lately? I mean, it's been unseasonably warm. It's weird." 

"Yes, I've noticed. I'll have to do something about that."

John grinned at him, his eyes way too big and bright. "You're the best, Rodney." 

"Yeah, yeah." He helped push John up the ramp and onto the sleigh. 

"No fat man tonight," John said with glee as he stepped into the traces. 

Rodney cinched him in tight and then put on his own lap belt. "Nope. It's just Team Misfit this time. You ready, Ronon? Teyla? Have we got the Etch-a-Sketch that only draws shoes? The robot dog that can't fetch?"

"All ready and accounted for!"

"Go."

"We're go for Hanukkah launch, John," Rodney said.

"Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah!"

<KABOOM!>

Later, John told Rodney to stop apologizing about the concussive blast from the rocket booster. Turned out it really cleared his sinuses.

Anyway, the gelt were only a little bit melted.

 

HAPPY HANUKKAH!

_End._


End file.
